It has taken me a full 6 months to bounce back to my full productivity as a mother after having Collins. 6 MONTHS. oh my. It makes me cringe a bit as i go through everything to reorganize my life to the nice state it once was!
Today i was feeling a bit disheartened about it. How do i use my time more effectively? do i wake up earlier? get a babysistter just so i can accomplish my goals? turn on more cartoons? i'm accomplishing more right? so extra cartoons are actually beneficial??!!? I've been struggling. or maybe wrestling with myself (that better explains it) i came across a quote today someone on instagram. An unlikely source of inspiration, i know. but its brilliant. It reads:
"Productivity is not God's highest goal for the season of my life; obedience is. Success in His kingdom is not measured by accomplishments or accolades. Rather, God says,"Whoever desire to become great among you, let him be your servent."...whenever i start to veiw motherhood as mundane, unimpressive, and unexciting, i must remember that it is my great privilege."
-Leslie Ludy
Sometimes the internet is such a positive place. Other times i find myself comparing myself to those moms who "just finished their 1 hour daily workout" or "attended the temple for the 2nd time that week" Not to the point where im depressed about it, but more like i feel like i'm not pushing myself enough. ACCOMPLISHING enough. I feel like this will be a daily struggle for me, i like to keep busy! to cross off my list at the end of the day thinking " I'm SO winning at this mothering thing!!" Like this life is all about though, its a balance.
Doing those things that make you happy as a mother. A clean house. Healthy meals.
And time to just enjoy all the small moments.
Collins learning to blow spit bubbles.
Taking time to interpret Jones puppy whines since he won't talk today.
Realizing Locke is actually singing the words to a new primary song.
I have never felt more exhausted, beaten down, joyus, or fulfilled.
2 comments:
Bahahaha- I have experienced Jones trying to talk to me in multiple sounds to avoid actually saying a word. The day full of just raspberries was the best. You're the best mom and I love reading these posts more than ANYTHING.
Brittany,
you are awesome. People always ask me how I "do everything." I don't - no one does!!! We have to give each other a break and realize that we each choose things that are important to US and focus on those, just like you said - a clean house, healthy meals, etc.
For me, that means I bake and make good healthy food, and I do clean my house and then I homeschool my kids. I don't have a tv, I don't watch "shows" all the time, I am only really online after my babies are in bed (besides little instagram posts that take a minute while nursing a baby!). I prioritize my time differently than most, and that's how I get done what I feel is important for me, right now.
And even then, we have recently decided as a family to simplify. We are getting rid of TONS of crap from our house - clothes, furniture, movies, linens, kitchen stuff, you name it. We are minimizing our lives in order to have more time for the things we LOVE - being together, travel, teaching our kids, etc. I went off facebook, have tried to cut down on my "phone time" in front of my kids, etc. It's a conscious effort.
It's hard. And everyone is different. Don't feel bad. You are already a wonderful mother just because you CARE.
p.s. scarlett is my "whiner." so much fun . . . lol
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