It has taken me a full 6 months to bounce back to my full productivity as a mother after having Collins. 6 MONTHS. oh my. It makes me cringe a bit as i go through everything to reorganize my life to the nice state it once was!
Today i was feeling a bit disheartened about it. How do i use my time more effectively? do i wake up earlier? get a babysistter just so i can accomplish my goals? turn on more cartoons? i'm accomplishing more right? so extra cartoons are actually beneficial??!!? I've been struggling. or maybe wrestling with myself (that better explains it) i came across a quote today someone on instagram. An unlikely source of inspiration, i know. but its brilliant. It reads:
"Productivity is not God's highest goal for the season of my life; obedience is. Success in His kingdom is not measured by accomplishments or accolades. Rather, God says,"Whoever desire to become great among you, let him be your servent."...whenever i start to veiw motherhood as mundane, unimpressive, and unexciting, i must remember that it is my great privilege."
-Leslie Ludy
Sometimes the internet is such a positive place. Other times i find myself comparing myself to those moms who "just finished their 1 hour daily workout" or "attended the temple for the 2nd time that week" Not to the point where im depressed about it, but more like i feel like i'm not pushing myself enough. ACCOMPLISHING enough. I feel like this will be a daily struggle for me, i like to keep busy! to cross off my list at the end of the day thinking " I'm SO winning at this mothering thing!!" Like this life is all about though, its a balance.
Doing those things that make you happy as a mother. A clean house. Healthy meals.
And time to just enjoy all the small moments.
Collins learning to blow spit bubbles.
Taking time to interpret Jones puppy whines since he won't talk today.
Realizing Locke is actually singing the words to a new primary song.
I have never felt more exhausted, beaten down, joyus, or fulfilled.
