View from the belly
37 week belly - its getting big!
Tai Grant got a picture of me carrying two watermelons!! (35 weeks pregnant)
Well today i went in for my Baby Dr. appt and found out i'm sitting at 3 cm dilated! with my dr gone next week i even got my membranes stripped today (which was an unexpectedly painful/not fun experience…) I've had a ton of contractions, but nothing consistent. Ive checked my hospital bag a hundred times, cleaned the kitchen, and put the kids to bed. And now???…well i'm not really sure what to do with myself. I'll spend a portion of tonight finishing the Book of Mormon - i only have 15 pages left. which is neat. And a lot more time just sitting on the couch self-reflecting. I always get this way right before a baby - it really brings life's priorities into perspective for me. Will the baby care that i cleaned out the garage? washed the baseboards? finished a quilt? obviously no. But they are all things i *thought* were so important to accomplish before she got here. Today i stopped everything to help Jones finish a puzzle that was much to difficult for him, but he always tries because of all the trains on the picture. It was so fun to cheer him on and see the joy it gave him to place every piece ever-so-carefully. Thats why i've decided to step back and basically quit Peony and Plum, my little headband business with my friend Taylor. I feel like its just getting in the way of the small things? and letting me truly enjoy every second with my littles. Jones decided to start talking so much this week and i was shocked to see how much it changed him from baby to toddler. I can't believe Lane and I are on our third child, that we finally get a girl, and somehow our other "babies" are in primary, and making decisions, and learning how to be all around independent. I'm guilty of thinking sometimes that i'll enjoy them once the house is clean, or i've made a dozen headbands, or something else equally trivial. I need to be here for them. NOW. with no distractions. Which is hard for me, i like to be creative and a lot of times that is done when i'm alone, making something i think is beautiful and different. but i think i've finally realized that that part of my life needs to be shelved and i need to find other ways to bring that creativity out. I want my kids to learn to be creative!! i feel like its been such a blessing in my life, and a really neat way of expressing myself positively. So that is my new focus, my kids! even though i should've realized it a little earlier. My mom said that is the one thing she regrets most, is putting her creative interests above her children - and i'm trying really hard not to have regrets raising Locke and Jones. I'm so far from perfect its laughable, but that little bit of extra time needs to be spent with my family, not holed up in my craft room while the kids and lane play without me. So with some new goals and resolve to become a better mother i'm heading to bed. And hopefully waking up with painful contractions…wish me luck!
1 comment:
You are amazing Britt, and have your focus in the right place. It's so hard sometimes to glance at the messes while you are playing or reading with your kids and know you could be cleaning, but those moments will be gone. I am already amazed that Norah is six. She is growing up without me I feel like! Lol.
By now you are most likely holding that little girl and I cannot wait to see her tiny face! Good luck!
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